The Cell Block Tango
by Latina shewolf
Summary: When the Hale pack couples begin fighting, nothing seems to settle them. When a witch appears even worse, or would it take only one dream to get the boys to realize what they are doing. Derek/Stiles, Jackson/Lydia, Danny/Issac, Boyd/Erica, Scott/Allison. OC/Cora


_Ok guys I swear this is a oneshot unless lots of people demand otherwise. I came across this song and it was playing in my head all day. I don't own Cell Block Tango or Teen Wolf otherwise there would be more Sterek._

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><p><strong>Cell Block Tango<strong>

The pack being angry at each other was the complete understatement of the year. They were close to tearing each other's throats.

Maybe we should backtrack a little.

Apparently when residents of Beacon Hills begin to experience some... supernatural experiences. Cheating husband in sudden pain when making "important visits." Evil bosses, suddenly signing over the company to a smaller one while turning themselves to police. Etc.

Therefore the Hale pack was instantly on the case. But there was one problem. Because the witch was targeting at random and Sheriff Stilinski was found unconscious at home Derek Hale freaked out and convinced all the males in the pack (Stiles and Issac were not part of the conversation.) That it would be better if Lydia, Erica, Stiles, Issac, Allison and Cora stayed behind in a witch proof house. The girls, plus Issac and Stiles were not happy with the development. To make matters worse, the boys couldn't even catch the witch. Soon the pack couples were at each other's throats well most of them.

Today apparently Scott let it slip to "smaller pack members left behind" that the witch did something to the boys while they were hunting the witch down. This lead the pack couples to an argument to another argument to this current argument.

"Jackson stop popping that gum!" A very angry Lydia shrieked. *Pop* Jackson replied with his gum popping and smirking at Lydia's expression.

"Danny why do you keep going to the Jungle while we're together!" Issac demanded shaking his blond curls on his head.

"Boyd, I'm not cheating on you with the barista!" Erica said in exasperation.

"Stiles, I didn't do anything with Jennifer!" A very annoyed Derek replied to his boyfriend.

"Cora, I didn't do anything with those girls." A brown hair, brown eye male named Daemon answered exasperated at his girlfriend.

Meanwhile Allison has been attempting to catch some sleep while on her boyfriend's lap with earplugs on. This argument has been going on for a week and unfortunately Allison and Scott had to take sides and take turns in postponing the arguments for later. This time it was Allison's turn.

With Scott covering his ears Allison whistled and said "so whose turn is it to pick for movie night?"

Despite the argument, the pack has yet to miss a movie night done every Friday in the Hale home.

Issac chose the movie Chicago after seeing the trailer on tv. It was about murderesses Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart find themselves on death row together and fight for the fame that will keep them from the gallows in 1920s Chicago.

After the movie was done, the pack split up to the rooms, well the boys went to the rooms while the girls, plus Issac and Stiles chose to sleep on the couch until their significant other apologized to them. Allison just sighed at this and stole Scott's jacket again before making her way to her designated sleeping area. Another night without her Scott pillow.

What the boys didn't know was that apparently the witch was actually watching them and she smiled as she worked her magic on the boys hunting her today.

As soon as their head hit the pillow they were to experience a very strange dream.

_**Derek instantly found himself sitting in a chair with a table in front of it, and on this table was a sweating glass of water.**_

_**That was when he noticed half of the pack at separate tables with a glass of water in front of them.**_

_**Daemon was the first to notice Derek. "Yo Derek where are we."**_

"_**No idea your guess is as good as mine." Derek replied.**_

"_**Is it just me, but only half of us are present?" Scott asked.**_

"_**Whatever, it is just a dream McCall" Jackson grumbled drinking from his glass of water.**_

"_**I vote let's go along with the dream" Boyd replied.**_

"_**A guys night out, perfect" Jackson replied sarcastically.**_

"_**Not every day a witch casts a spell on us to do that." Danny pointed out. "I don't think we are alone."**_

_**That was when the guys saw before them what seemed to six jail cells, of with each held a person inside but their faces where dark until the sounds around him turned to music. Then Peter appeared in a spot light, his hair slicked back with a gray pin stripped suit and he spoke in a cheerful rehearsed voice, kind of like the ones that you hear on the 70's game shows.**_

_**"And now, the six merry murderesses of cook county jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango!" He said and faded away as the music got louder.**_

_**"Pop!" The first light came on in the first cell to show Lydia wearing what seemed to be black leather short shorts a black leather wrap around her breast acting as a bra as she had black straps around her. She had fishnet like sleeves on, fishnet stockings and high leather stiletto boots.**_

_**"Six" The second cell's light came on to show Issac who was wearing a pair of rather tight briefs leaving alot to the imagination. He had black leather boots on and a leather collar around his neck.**_

_**"Squish" The third cell's light flicked on to show Erica who had seems to be similar to Lydia but instead of the sleeves she had leather armsbands on a her biceps.**_

_**"Uh-uh" The forth cell's light turned on to show Allison wearing something similar to Lydia but only difference was that she had no fishnet stockings on.**_

_**"Cicero" The fifth cell's light flashed on to show Stiles wearing something similar to Issac but he had black fingerless gloves on. His hair was much longer then his buzzcut haircut and he took a puff of a cigarette.**_

_**"Daemon" It was Cora in the last cell, from the lodge she too was wearing something similar as the other girls. The only difference was that she had what seem to be leather like sleeves with black ruffles by her hands..**_

_**The males gulped looking at their significant others in their outfits. **_

"_**Are we on drugs?" Scott asks still in shock seeing his girlfriend and basically his brother in such risqué outfits. Derek gulped not answering. **_

_**Then they spoke faster**_

_**"Pop"**_

_**"Six"**_

_**"Squish"**_

_**"Uh-Uh"**_

_**"Cicero" Stiles spoke out in a very husky voice to Derek's amazement watching as Stiles reached his hand out of the bars that held him.**_

_**"Daemon"**_

_**This repeated once more, faster than the last one. The boys watched as their significant others change their changed poses as they sang out.**_

_**"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you have been there, if you have seen it…"**_

_**" I betcha you would have done the same!" Stiles sung out, his whisky color eyes looked at the boys of the pack with not fear but pure anger. **_

_**"Pop"**_

_**"Six"**_

_**"Squish"**_

_**"Uh-Uh"**_

_**"Cicero"**_

_**"Daemon"**_

_**Suddenly the attention turned to Lydia as she squeezed from her holding cell to the middle of the floor. She began to speak, a red light beamed down on her as she told her story.**_

_**"You know how people have these little habits that gets you down. Like Jackson."**_

_**Her smile turned poisonous as her eyes locked to Jackson's.**_

"_**Jackson liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP." Her eyes bugged out at the word. She continued, pacing the floor. **_

_**"So I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Jackson lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing. No, not chewing, POPPING." She slammed her fist down onto the table at Derek's causing all the boys to jump from their seats as she slowly like a predator stalks to Jackson's table.**_

_**"So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did." She gave a sigh that said I tried. "So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots..." Lydia went behind Jackson her left hand on his shoulder while her right hand went ruffling Jackson's hair**_

"_**Into- his -head." She pushed Jackson off his seat and pulled out what seemed to be a red crimson scarf from his head. **_

_**Jackson attempted to get out of Lydia's way while all of the other jail birds where laughing, however even with the high stiletto boots, Lydia managed to leap onto Jackson's back with the scarf around his neck forcing his to walk back. She whipped the scarf off forcing Jackson to turn around and she pushed Jackson having him stumble back to their seat. The jailbirds began to sing again as Lydia began to dance to the beat of the music.**_

_**"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you have been there, if you have heard it…"**_

_**Lydia went to one side with the crimson scarf as she points at the boys. "I betcha you would have done the same!"**_

_**Issac was the next to leave his cell, he pushed the iron door open with his pinky and smiled**_

_**"I met Danny Mahealani about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together." He still had that smile painted on his face as he slowly made his way to Danny's table.**_

_**"He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out "single" he told me. Single, my ass." His smile turned to a hysterical laugh as a crunch was heard where Issac hand was on Scott's table. His eyes turned golden while his claws came out.**_

_**"Not only was he married... Oh, no, he had six other men. One of those Mormons, you know." Issac said as he forced Danny to the floor and with golden eyes went on Danny's lap doing the splits and went hovering right over Danny's face. The other guys didn't know whether to cheer for Danny or be terrified for him. Issac continued on. **_

_**"So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual."**_

_**Issac went and what it looked like that he was kissing him. But instead Issac pulled a crimson red scarf right between his teeth and said through his teeth "You know, some guys just can't hold their wolfsbane!"**_

_**The boys watch as Issac arches his head up pulling the scarf put in his right hand and pushed Danny to the side forcing him back to his seat as the other jailbirds sang at the same time. **_

_**"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you have been there, if you have seen it…"**_

_**Issac made his way next to Lydia looking at the boys singing "I betcha you would have done the same!" **_

_**Then Erica's cell door flew open and she waltzed out and she began her story.**_

_**"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband Boyd in a jealous rage. "You been screwing the barista," he says." Erica dangerously stalks to Boyd's table. She went behind Boyd as one arm draped over him while the other went tracing his leather jacket.**_

" _**He was crazy and he kept on screaming, "You been screwing the barista." And then he ran into my knife." She said with a shrug with a dangerous smile as her eyes turned golden. "He ran into my knife ten times!" She pulled a crimson scarf from what seems to be from Boyd's stomach as the jailbirds sang while Erica strutted back right next to Issac.**_

_**"If you have been there, if you have seen it…"**_

_**Erica sweetly looks at the boys while singing. "I betcha you would have done the same!"**_

_**Then the lights turned blue and Allison came out of her cell slowly. The music slowed down and well Allison began to talk in a different language, making everyone stare in confusion.**_

_**"Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg..."She made her way to Scott seat behind nuzzling his neck and stroking his neck with one arm.**_

"_**What did she say" Jackson asked confused. He received a shrug but Stiles simply crushed his cigarette with his hand and said.**_

_**"Yeah. But did you do it?"**_

_**Allison shook her head no and made a swiping motion to Scott's neck pulling out a white scarf. "Uh-uh. Not Guilty!" She then made her way to Erica's side.**_

_**Stiles smiled and the music slowly sped up as his cell door opened, he sauntered out of his holding cell.**_

"_**My teacher, Jennifer and I had this double act, and my boyfriend, Derek, traveled around with us." Stiles began as he saunters in between all the tables. **_

_**"Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row. one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other." He counted these off of his fingers before stopping at Derek's table.**_

_**"So this one night before the show we're down at the Hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozing, having a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Jennifer and Derek doing Number Seventeen - the spread eagle." His tone dropped dangerously as Stiles was now on top of Derek's table with his arms holding him looking directly at him. **_

_**"Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later; when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead!" Stiles had crimson scarf flow from each hand.**_

_**Derek stood up "Stiles, no!" he roared. "I would never do that to you!" However Derek couldn't move and realized his table was surrounded by mountain ash.**_

_**Stiles had a smug look as he whips the red scarves with both hands. With such anger he went predatorily stalking towards Derek as all the jailbirds sang. "They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along." Stiles forced Derek back to his seat while joining the others.**_

" _**I didn't do it but if I'd done it how could you tell me that I was wrong?**_"

_**Stiles lead the group of jailbirds in the song.**_

_**"They had it coming, They had it coming, They had it coming, They had it coming, They had it coming They took a flower All along In its prime I didn't do it And then they used it But if I'd done it And they abused it How could you tell me It was a murder That I was wrong? But not a crime!"**_

_**The boys were in such a state of shock that they didn't notice that Cora got out of her cell.**_

_**"I loved Daemon more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy...  
>sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself." She began rather innocently. Cora began as she walked to her boyfriend. No golden eyes to Daemon's relief.<strong>_

"_**He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences." Daemon just sighs. So far nothing bad for him he thought to himself as Cora had both arms around him as she hugged him from behind his seat. **_

"_**He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead." Cora yells out pulling a red crimson scarf putting Daemon in a strangled hold as her eyes went gold.**_

_**Then once again the jailbirds started to sing and the boys were all out of their seats, even Derek and were backed into the corner trapping them.**_

_**"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum"**_ _**They all sung in harmony**_

_**They had it comin' All along 'Cause if they used us 'Cause if they used us And they abused us And they abused us How could you tell us How could you tell us That we were wrong? That we were wrong?**_

_**"You pop that gum one more time!" Lydia threats**_

_**"Single my ass." Issac said with an eye roll**_

_**"Ten times!" Erica smugly said**_

_**"Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe." Allison mournfully said**_

_**"Number seventeen-the spread eagle" Stiles said as he poked Derek in the chest.**_

_**"Artistic differences." Cora snapped**_

_**The boys tried to get their mate's attention but were ignored as they went back to their cells as Sherriff Stilinski locked them while giving the boys a mournful look.**_

_**"Pop!"  
>"Six!"<br>"Squish!"  
>"Uh Uh"<br>"Cicero "  
>"Daemon!"<strong>_

"Derek!"

Derek tossed in turned. "No, no Stiles, that's not you!"

"Sourwolf!" Stiles yelled throwing a dictionary at his head. He woke up with a start and noticed that he was back in his room with his mate looking at him with worry.

"Stiles thank god!" He said and pulled him into a hug nuzzling him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me."

Stiles awkwardly patted his mate on the back. "I forgive you? Sourwolf if you really want my forgiveness, please let me go back to sleep."

Derek eagerly left Stiles some room as they cuddled to bed.

"You guys have weird timing. Funny how all of you had a nightmare at the same time." Stiles said with a yawn and Derek soon heard him deeply sleeping. Derek almost fell asleep when he heard them.

"Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, Cicero, Daemon! It was a murder but not a crime."

Derek and the other boys who had the nightmare began to whimper not noticing their mate's smile pretending to be asleep.

Allison woke up to Scott's absence in the bed. She noticed her phone on and saw a notification to her "Whatsapp"

Lydia: Who would have thought the witch was actually Stile's mom spirit.

Erica: She rocks.

Cora: Here, here I agree.

Issac: Ladies and Stiles I think we should let it hang over our guys heads for a little while.

Stiles: Good idea pup.

Stiles has left.

Issac has left.

Lydia has left.

Cora has left.

Erica has left.

Allison smiled as she hit the button to erase the chatroom and went back to sleep.


End file.
